Worried Your Kids Won't Cooperate During Your Family Photos? Read This First.
Whether you’ve already booked a family photography session or you’re thinking about doing so, there may be one nagging thought that keeps popping into your head. This article is here to help.
If you've found yourself wondering...
"What if my toddler won't sit still for photos?"
"What if my children refuse to smile?"
"What if they have a meltdown?"
"What if they don't behave?"
...please know you're asking exactly the same questions as almost every family who steps in front of my camera.
And here's the good news.
Your children do not need to "cooperate" for us to create beautiful photographs.
In fact, as a family photographer some of my favourite galleries have come from sessions where children spent more time exploring than posing, and the most common feedback I get from families after their family photo session is that it was so much more fun than they were expecting (for mum and dad too).
Family photography isn't about perfect behaviour.
Somewhere along the way, many of us grew up believing family photos meant everyone sitting perfectly still, smiling at the camera, hoping the youngest child stayed put long enough for someone to press the shutter. So far removed from how you or your kids really interact. Perhaps this is why many of us as adults don’t like having our photo taken or even dread the idea of a ‘photoshoot’.
While there's certainly a place for those classic portraits (and I'm always happy to capture them), they're only a tiny part of the story.
The photographs families treasure most years later usually aren't the ones where everyone is looking at the camera.
They're the ones where your daughter is wrapped around your shoulders.
Your little boy is giggling on Dad's knees.
You’re all playing in the water.
Your toddler is reaching for your hand.
Your children are laughing in a way that only playing with you can make them laugh.
Those are the moments that feel like home. This is child-led photography, and it’s how I always approach a session with young children or toddlers.
Children aren't meant to stand still.
Children experience the world by moving.
They explore.
They collect sticks.
They climb rocks.
They ask questions.
They chase butterflies.
They hide behind Mum's legs.
They ask for one more cuddle.
None of those things are problems.
They're childhood.
Rather than expecting children to fit into my session, I've designed my sessions to fit around children. And as a Melbourne based family photographer I’ve also spent years finding and curating a list of the best, most stunning photography locations around the Mornington Peninsula, the Dandenong Ranges and Victoria-wide that are perfect for offering families plenty to do, see and enjoy to ensure sessions are perfect for little humans, older kids and making memories.
We walk.
We play.
We cuddle.
We explore.
We pause for snacks.
We stop to admire flowers.
We race each other.
We swing little ones between Mum and Dad.
We let children be children.
Because that's when the magic happens.
The only thing I ask...
Come ready to spend and enjoy time together during your outdoor family photoshoot.
That's it.
You don't need to know how to pose.
You don't need perfectly behaved children.
You don't need everyone smiling every second.
You simply need to arrive ready to enjoy one another's company. This is the most valuable session preparation of all.
Children are wonderfully intuitive.
If you’re anxious and stressed about things going ‘perfectly’ during your family photography session they’ll pick up on this. But if they can see Mum and Dad laughing, relaxing and enjoying themselves, they'll usually always follow.
Please don't apologise.
This one is important.
Parents apologise to me all the time.
"I'm so sorry he's being difficult."
"She's normally not like this."
"I promise they usually listen!"
“This must be a nightmare for you…”
It truly isn’t. And please don't.
I've photographed enough families (and have my own two polar opposite and very active, cheeky kiddos) to know that every child has their own personality, their own rhythm and their own way of approaching new experiences.
I'm never judging your parenting and inwardly groaning at runaway kids. I'm simply looking for connection.
Sometimes that connection looks like laughter.
Sometimes it looks like quiet cuddles.
Sometimes it looks like carrying a tired toddler for half the session, or embracing piggyback races.
Every version is beautiful.
Should I bribe my child?
Honestly?
You know them best, but usually... no.
A little encouragement is welcome and please DO hype up the experience ahead the session, but I generally recommend avoiding promises like:
"If you behave I'll buy you a toy afterwards."
Children quickly realise they're working towards something instead of simply enjoying themselves.
Instead, bring their favourite snack.
Bring bubbles.
Bring a favourite teddy.
Tell silly jokes.
Play chasey.
Give piggyback rides.
Tickle tiny toes.
Let them be themselves.
No one in the world more intimately knows your children’s personalities or how to make them happy like you do, so my family photography advice is to treat this experience like a chance to shower your kids with all the affection and play that makes them light up. Those genuine reactions create photographs that no amount of saying "cheese" or even the promise of ice cream ever could.
But what if I really want one photo of everyone looking at the camera?
Absolutely!
Just tell me. While my photography sessions prioritise real moments and natural family photos this doesn’t mean you won’t get lovely sitting or standing photos all together, you absolutely will.
Every family receives a questionnaire before their session, and one of the reasons I ask those questions is so I know exactly what's important to you. That’s always a top priority.
If a traditional (eyes to camera) family portrait is at the top of your wish list, I'll happily make space for this early in the session before little attention spans begin to wander or the sillies kick in. But if you’re envisioning every photo in your gallery to be a more formal, static, looking-at-camera pose then I’m most likely not the right photographer for you. The beauty of there being so many different kinds of family photographers out there is that you’ll easily find someone who does photograph this way - portrait studios are a great place to start.
My approach to photo sessions with families is to use immersive, natural prompts and real-time guidance that allows everyone to be themselves while capturing real moments that overflow with connection, emotion and effortless beauty. I won’t typically pose you in the traditional sense - the prompts I give are intentionally designed to lead you into natural interactions that work beautifully for photographs, but the best part is you and your family are focused on the moment, not the pose.
With that said, my final family photography tips would be…
Trust the process.
After photographing hundreds of families over the years, I've learned something that surprises a lot of parents.
The sessions parents worry about the most are often the ones that produce the most meaningful galleries.
Because real childhood isn't perfectly behaved.
It's muddy feet.
Windblown hair.
Piggyback rides.
Tiny hands reaching for yours.
Giggles that can't be rehearsed.
Those beautifully imperfect moments become the photographs that mean the most.
Years from now, your children won't remember whether they smiled on command.
They'll remember playing with you.
And that's exactly what I hope to capture. I can’t tell you how much joy it brings me whenever a client has warned me that they or their children ‘don’t like’ photos before our session, only for those same families to be the ones reaching out afterwards to say how much they loved the experience and their photos.
Perhaps it’s not so much that you don’t like photos, it might be that you don’t like feeling like you’re ‘performing’ for them and you don’t recognise the person in the photos when you do. Children are the same. But faking anything or ‘performing’ isn’t a prerequisite to getting beautiful family photos, in fact I think the best photographs of all are completely impossible to perform or recreate, and that’s part of their magic.
Connection over perfection. Always.
If you're looking for an authentic family photography experience where children are encouraged to be exactly who they are I'd love to help tell your family's story. You can learn more about my relaxed family sessions here.
You can also find more helpful articles and tips for preparing for a beautiful photography experience on the blog I made especially for my wonderful clients here.
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